Thursday, April 2, 2009

Thursday 4/2

This week has not gotten any bettter.. I am in a slump. I miss my babies. I really wish that they were here with us. Why can't they be? I struggle SO MUCH just wondering why????? Right now I feel like my whole life has no meaning. All we ever wanted it to have children, and when we finally got the chance, after expecting NOT to be able to have children, we loose our Little Dale. I am going through my life right now in slow motion, just going through the motions.I have found myself wishing this year to be over, but really, what good will that do? We lost Little Dale on Jan. 09, so the first of next year is NOT going to be any better.
It seems that everytime I turn around someone new is pregnant. It is hard with my job. I manage 9 stores, with 65+ employees. Yes, I realize with that many people, all women, someone is bound to be pregnant. But why now? And I hear quite a bit of them not wanting to be pregnant! If only they knew how lucky and blessed they are!
I don't have any motivation, I don't want to do the things I used to enjoy. I only do what I have to. I am so thankfull for my husband, he is a tremendous help and full support system.
The "baby room" is offically getting finished on Sunday. My b.i.l. is coming over to put the hard wood floor in. I went in the room last night, not sure why.. it still hurt, and I am pretty sure that it will really hurt when we see it done, and start putting it back together.


Lea said...

Strength to you, dear Sarah

Sarah said...

Thank you Lea.

"numb_was_better" said...

I get what you mean. I manage a store next to a Carter's Factory store. It's non-stop all day seeing pregnant women and babies. Women acting annoyed by their children and complaining about the inconvenience.